Barack and Michelle Obama are arguably one of the most beloved couples. Despite leaving the White House years ago, their marriage continues to inspire many. They have been open about the challenges they face, showcasing that their relationship is far from a fairytale. Their marriage had a rather unconventional start.
When Barack proposed to Michelle, he did so in a unique manner. Both being lawyers, they often engaged in lengthy debates. On the evening of his proposal, Barack sparked an argument about the necessity of marriage, knowing Michelle always had a rebuttal. “He made an argument out of it (the proposal),” Michelle recalled on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.” In the midst of their heated discussion, a waiter presented a platter with a ring. “He opened up the box and he said, ‘Now that ought to shut you up.’ And it did,” Michelle recounted.
Michelle has openly discussed the ups and downs of their relationship. She admitted in an interview with REVOLT that there was a time she couldn’t stand Barack. “People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband,” she revealed. This period coincided with the early years of their children’s lives. She emphasized that marriage is hard work and that young couples often give up too quickly. “Bringing two lives together is one of the hardest things to do, but [you have to understand that] it’s a process,” she said.
A significant issue during their rough patch was the unequal division of responsibilities. “Marriage isn’t fifty-fifty — ever,” Michelle stated. Barack acknowledged her stress during those years, particularly while raising their kids. “It sure helps to be out of the White House and to have a little more time with her,” he told CBS.
Michelle wants people to understand that their relationship is not perfect. “Sometimes, we can feel ourselves, just, lawyering ourselves to death,” she said on “Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast.” She noted that their arguments could be intense, with both of them getting carried away. “We both like to win. I know that we’ve had to learn how to argue differently,” she admitted.
Reflecting on their relationship, Michelle shared how she initially struggled with balancing her aspirations and motherhood. “Something had to give, and it was my aspirations and dreams,” she said. In her book, “The Light We Carry: Overcoming in Uncertain Times,” she addressed the guilt she felt while living in the White House.
The Obamas also underwent marriage counseling, which helped Michelle realize that she needed to work on herself as well. “My resentment for him was that Barack was prioritizing himself,” she explained in her Netflix documentary “Becoming.” She learned that her happiness was not solely dependent on him.
Despite their differences, Michelle and Barack have managed to stay together for over three decades. Michelle describes them as opposites who attract, with different ways of expressing love and coping with challenges. “We have our issues, of course, but I love the man, and he loves me, now, still, and seemingly forever,” she wrote in her book. Their relationship exemplifies that love and commitment require ongoing effort and understanding.